Roger Wood, Tastin’ Good (that’s what she said).
Roger Wood? Come on now? Guess he’s some kind of “Lumber Jack” whatever the heck THAT is. Oh wait, I know old Roger; he’s the love child of Betty Crocker and Uncle Ben. Rodge lives in a shack down by the river by the edge of the Red Wood forest. UH HUH Yeah, THAT Roger Wood.
I suppose if a giant red sausage needs a stage name, good ‘ole Roger Wood is the way to go.
This is one example of a product that clearly does not need to exist yet can be found on the shelves of my local grocery store anyway. I bet it NEVER goes bad.